SMART WOMEN

Recently, in a large city in France , a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia , the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia .. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. 

They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist.  If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT? Therefore, they don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me:  I want to be a whale.

P..S.. We are in an age  when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends.. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,  

 ¨Good grief, 

look how smart I am!¨

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

MY BOOK ARRIVED!

This is the great book I received after winning my bet with Pammy Sue on the Vikings - Cowboys game. The game was played Sunday, and I received the book yesterday. That was SPEEDY DELIVERY!  Thanks so much, Pammy Sue. I've been reading through the book almost all morning and have already tried some Entrelac. That's just what I need . . . something new to divert my attention away from the WIPs I promised to get finished!  :)  

I COULDN'T RESIST

I used to lay claim to this recliner, but as you can see, Hunter and Mini both think it belongs to them. 

HAPPY HUMP DAY!

I agree with Pammy Sue . . . trying to come up with titles for our posts is agonizing. Most days, it's difficult to organize all the thoughts and ideas mulling around in my head, much less try to figure out a creative way to express them in written form.

With that being said, I wanted to take a quick minute to let you all know that I haven't slipped into oblivion again. I realize I haven't posted since my big football win on Sunday, which I'm sure causes some of you alarm (grin), but things are all good with me right now. I'm not moping around under a big, dark cloud, and I even have my blinds open today and am enjoying the beautiful blue skies. I've just been extremely busy the past few days, and although I've been following you all through my Dashboard, I haven't taken the time to post anything.

My husband's parents came up from Texas on Sunday and stayed with us until Tuesday. Due to our Christmas blizzard, they couldn't make it up then. The week after Christmas, through New Year's, I had the flu, and the following week, my hubby was sick. So, this past weekend was the first opportunity we've had to get together with them to celebrate Christmas and just enjoy some R & R time, visiting.

You all might recall that my mother-in-law was the one who taught me how to crochet that very first granny square on Thanksgiving of 2008. She is so crafty and talented, I wanted to wait until she arrived before pulling out my new sewing machine and giving it a whirl. Yes, I did get to sew a few lines and even tried out the zig-zag stitch a few times. Then, while I was in my office catching up on some coding, I heard the sewing machine sound like it was about to take off. Thinking it was my mother-in-law, I stepped in to take a peek and lo and behold, I saw my daughter, Hunter, sitting at MY new sewing machine, looking like a crazed lunatic. She had this devilish grin on her face, and an unmistakable gleam in her eye, and the child was sewing 90 miles per hour! We ended up going to the fabric store, and my mother-in-law bought her some fleece and matching thread. When we got home, they measured and cut and tucked and pinned, and before long, Hunter showed me her new creation --- a blue and green pillow cover!  She is not letting me live this down. I consider myself the crochet queen in our family, but Hunter has now claimed the title of "Sewing Queen", and all because my sister bought ME a new sewing machine!  :)  GO FIGURE!!

Well, I had better get back to coding some charts. I hope you all have a happy HUMP DAY, and I will visit with you soon. Oh, and my PRIZE, the new crochet book I won from my football bet with Pammy Sue, should be arriving soon. I will be sure to post a picture. Thanks, Pammy Sue. You're a sweetheart!

Hunter crocheted this scarf all by herself. She got tired of waiting around for me to make her one, so the Saturday before last, she got out her yarn and went to town. I may have to relinquish my "Crochet Queen" crown. :)

TONY ROMO GOT SACKED HOW MANY TIMES?????

Some of you who visited Pammy Sue's blog were mistakenly led to my blog, expecting to find the loser of today's bet on the Minnesota Vikings' and Dallas Cowboys' football game. I am happy to inform you that Pammy Sue is full of hot air, as usual. Brett Favre is not washed up and is still the cutest little hottie on the field. His counterpart, Tony Romo, being MUCH younger than Brett, seemed to have trouble standing on his own two feet today. 

If you try to contact Pammy Sue, she will probably be busy, ordering my crochet book from Amazon!  

OKAY, I PROMISED . . . .

Ready or not, here are the pictures of my unfinished projects:

This "thing" was from a very reputable pattern book. It's supposed to be a large table mat of some kind. When I finished the stitch part, I thought it was so ugly I never wanted to sew in all the tails.

These are the pieces of an organizer box that need to be sewn together. Way back in my blog archive, I got on a kick of making these little boxes for Hunter and her friends. Boy, did I get burned out!

Two little purses. The green one is missing a fastener, and the multi-colored one
is missing the strap and fastener.

I made this one night while watching a football game. It's supposed to be a little container to hold my hubby's Sweet-n-Low wrappers by the coffee pot. I never got around to putting the stiffener in it.

This is supposed to be a coaster. The "lights" need to be sewn on, and it needs to be blocked.

This was actually 10 rows larger than this, but I was not happy with my lettering, so I frogged it. It's extremely long and will wrap around the back of a couch. It will eventually say "SOONERS" and be a gift for my sister.

Baby blanket - nice easy pattern but boring

Another baby blanket, made with ILTY sport weight. It's about 18 inches square, and I'd like to make it at least 36 inches.

I REALLY like this blanket and after seeing it again, I'm excited about finishing it. I started this almost a year ago, before knowing anything about ripples and certainly before finding Attic 24. I think Lucy would be proud. :)

Another baby blanket. I'm not really sure why I quit working on this one because I like
doing the round ripples.

These are rectangles that will make up an afghan that was designed by Mary Beth Temple. I have another bag of these someplace with yellow, green, and purples circles.

And, yes, another baby afghan. Do you think I'm wanting to be a grandma?
This one will be an "after-bath hoodie".

Okay, this was supposed to be an adult mitten. I used the hook and yarn recommended but did not check my gauge. Well, Hunter cannot even get this over her hand! I would like to finish it and make another one, but they will have to be for a toddler.

Not a very good picture, but this is a market bag made with red, white, and green variegated cotton yarn. I'd like to finish this, but making all the chains gets SO boring!

Crimson and cream . . . another afghan for my Oklahoma Sooners. I'm making this for the lady who bought the orange and black OSU afghan from me last summer.

These are the squares that started it all! These are the very first granny squares I ever made, a little over a year ago. I have another stack of the variegated squares and 70 total.

I just started this face cloth a couple of weeks ago, thanks to inspiration from my friend, Pammy Sue,
who sent me a couple of these.

I have no clue what this is supposed to be. I got on a rippling kick a couple of months ago and thought about making an afghan with different "chunks" of ripple fabric. This is as far as I got. :)

Okay, these are not really "unfinished". I have wanted so badly to find a neat slipper pattern, but everything I try ends up not being close to the right size. So, I make one and give up on making the second one. If any of you know of a good pattern, let me know!

These are supposed to be part of a Christmas pillow. ICK!

I discovered that this scarf is basically finished, except for making some more curly-ques to use in place of fringe. This pattern came from my friend, Caroline, the Kansas Hooker.

These pieces will eventually be sewn together to be a happy little hippo. It's really a cute pattern that I think came from the Lion Brand website.

I started this and was going great guns. Then, I got to a hitch in the instructions, could not figure out what I was supposed to do, so I stuffed it in the bag and put it away!

Remember these?
I was so irritated at myself. I got in my pre-Christmas FUNK and did not finish the stockings
for all the animals in our family. I needed 13 in all. Max and Mini each got one, but I still needed 2 more.

The picture does not do this justice. It's actually almost 2 feet long and has a beautiful twisted cable going up the middle. You all might remember that I was wanting to have this finished before Christmas to give my daughter, Ryanne. Well, looks like it will be birthday in September instead. :)

And, last but not least . . . Hunter's Spongebob!
I don't have a pattern. I'm just winging it, using a picture I printed from the internet.

I also have two "secret" projects that I'm currently working on, but I can't put pictures on here because they are gifts, and the people who will be receiving them happen to read my blog.

Whew!!  I'm not sure my choo-choo train is as long as Pammy Sue's, but I've definitely got my work cut out for me!  Hmmm, now what should I work on first?

CHECK THIS OUT!

My friend, Bev, at One Yarn After Another, crochets the most beautiful sweaters. She crochets other items, as well, but baby and toddler sweaters seem to be her specialty. She has been taking her crocheted items to a local consignment shop to sell, but she recently discovered some "shenanigans" going on. So, she brought her remaining items home, and I'm hoping she will soon have them for sale in her own little "online" shop. I think she would do extremely well, and I will support her 100%, which is one of the reasons I'm writing this today.

The other reason I wanted to mention Bev's situation is because she is having a GIVE-AWAY!!!  That's right, friends, Bev is going to give away two of her lovely infant sweater sets. Why, you ask?  Just because she is a sweet and generous person. All you need to do is go to her blog, which I've linked to above, and follow the instructions for entering her give-away. Then, keep your fingers crossed and hope your name is drawn. 

I didn't get Bev's permission to write this about her, but I'm sure she'll be happy to have you stop by for a visit. 

I THINK I'VE CREATED A MONSTER!

You guys have got to check out this blog - http://scottys-place.blogspot.com/   My friend, Pammy Sue, has gone to a great deal of trouble to drag out and photograph her unfinished projects. I started this whole mess and issued the challenge because I wanted something that would hold me accountable and make me start cleaning up my WIP drawer. Well, friends, I have lots of things to take pictures of, but I can't imagine that my WIP choo-choo train could possibly be as long as Pammy Sue's. Seriously, she's got lots of pretty things to look at, and she's willing to share patterns. Take a look and you'll be hooked!  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY SIS!

Tammy's Birthday, 2009

Just wanted to take a quick moment to wish my baby sister a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  We went to dinner last night, and I'm kicking myself in the booty for forgetting my camera. So, I had to resort to a photo taken last year at her birthday dinner. 

Tammy is a 20-year veteran with the Oklahoma City police department. She is very active in a number of athletic endeavors and is an instructor with Operation Boot Camp.  She, like the rest of us in our family, is an avid animal lover and currently has two Westies, Linus and Marci, and a beautiful brown lab-mix, Bailee. 

There's a difference of 5 1/2 years in our ages, but we have always been extremely close. Of course, with me being the oldest, I had her quite manipulated from a very early age, and she will tell you to this day how very mistreated she was. She truly believed everything I told her. She was probably in junior high before she figured out that wisdom teeth do not come in different colors, based on how smart you are!  :) 

Tammy, I love you to pieces and hope you not only have a great birthday but an awesome year to go along with it. 

ISSUING A CHALLENGE!

I have had this planned for quite some time, but am just now getting around to writing about it. Ironically, I've recently read on some of your blogs where some of you seem to have the same problem I have, and I thought this might be a fun way to "work through our problem" together. Has anybody been to a Crocheters Anonymous meeting lately?  :)  

So, I would like to issue a challenge to all of you crocheters and even non-crocheters to dig in those drawers, root through those closets, reach under those beds, rummage in the corners, and clean off those desks . . . . . . . and confess to us, once and for all, how many WORKS-IN-PROGRESS you currently have, stashed away, waiting not-so-patiently to be worked on again. If you crochet, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't crochet, I welcome you to come clean about any other projects you've started in good faith, only to be discarded in disgust, or lack of time, or out of just plain boredom! 

I'm truly hoping I'm not the only one out here in Blogland who has a hard time staying focused on one project. I mean, I'm sure it's acceptable to have a "few" projects going on at the same time. But, I'm talking about those projects that you've set aside, intending to finish on the next rainy day, only the spirit has never moved you to dig those WIPs back out again. 

C'mon, be honest. Come clean. Step forward and admit your guilt. Confess your sins. We all want to know, and SEE!  Yes, I challenge you to photograph this journey, so that we can all share in our shame together. I've been trying to make up some kind of contest to go along with this, but so far, haven't come up with anything bright and original. My goal, which I guess I haven't really made clear, is for us to bring all these old and forgotten projects out of hiding and FINISH them! That's right, I mean C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E them! 

Pammy Sue, are you guilty?  Can you set aside those projects on your "To Do" list and join our liberation? Beverooni, set aside those sweaters for a day or two and reveal to us anything you've neglected. Beansie, you may just be the most ambitious person in my little blogging world. But, surely you have a project or two that needs some TLC. Do I need to continue going down my Blog list and naming names?  You know who you are. Stand up and be counted! 

Seriously, guys, this could be fun. I'm the world's worst about procrastinating. My intentions are good and my goals are ambitious. But, the end result is not as satisfying to me as I'd like. So, I will lead this revolution. I resolve to have a list of my unfinished works-in-progress on my blog, with pictures, by this coming Saturday. Trust me, I am putting a lot of pressure on myself, but once it's spoken, it has to be done. 

I hope you will join me and share in this little adventure. Perhaps some of you might have some ideas about how we could turn this into a game or a challenge or a swap of some sort. I'm anxious to hear your comments. 

And, yes, Hunter, that means I will have to drag out that Spongebob I started almost a year ago and finish it for you. ARRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!! 

HAPPY SATURDAY, FRIENDS!

Oh my gosh!  I am truly humbled by all of your kind comments. Thank you so much! It's so nice and comforting to feel loved. :)  Now, right here and now, I will say that I've made the resolution to get on here and blog, even if I don't feel too chipper about life. So, just take those posts with a grain of salt, and know that my insanity only lasts a short time. There might even be times when I solicit your advice, and I feel certain most of you wouldn't be shy. :)

So, here's what's going on today. I have to work some on my Ft. Smith account. For those of you who don't know, I do at-home medical coding. I've been given an account that is SOOOO boring, and because the medical records are 100% electronic, the coding process is extremely slow. Yesterday, I kept getting booted off the hospital's website, so I finally just said "to heck with it", which means I've got to get my quota finished this weekend. So, as much as I wanted to pull out that new sewing machine today and figure out how to get it threaded, I'll have to wait 'til tomorrow for that little adventure.

Hunter approached me this morning and politely informed me that my yarn drawers needed to be better organized. I have one whole wall of my "office" decorated with drawers and cabinets, all full of yarn, hooks, books, and other miscellaneous crochet/craft items. For the most part, my yarn drawers are organized by color, and I have special drawers for my cotton yarns and works-in-progress. Well, over the past couple of months, the colors have been converging on each other, and I found myself with greens and yellows and oranges and pinks together. Oh, the travesty! So, Miss Hunter has been diligently working on the drawers, moving colors around, squishing and arranging, and rolling half-used skeins into balls with the new yarn ball winder I got for Christmas!  There are certainly benefits to extremely cold weather where children get bored from not being able to play outside. (wink!)

Work now, football games later, and hopefully, sewing machine stories and crochet pictures tomorrow!  Bye for now, and thanks again for all your kind thoughts.

I'VE MISSED YOU!

Well, I pondered . . .
I debated . . .
I deliberated . . .
I fretted . . .
I lost sleep . . .

. . . all over coming back on here and writing this post. Can you imagine how crazy that sounds? I mean, it's just a silly old blog, right?

Not so much. This blog has been very special to me over the last 7-8 months. I have shared parts of my life with you, both by words and by pictures. I have read your blogs and looked at your pictures, and have gotten to know each of you in a very special little way. I truly feel like you are my friends.

Over the past month, I have not contributed to my blog, but I have kept up with you. I followed you through the merriment and pre-Christmas frenzy. I drooled over your yummy holiday treats and enjoyed reading about your family traditions. I read your entries right into the new year, and through my fever and flu-induced fog, I silently wished you all a very happy New Year, even if I didn't have the energy to post it on my blog.

And, all this time, the longer I went without blogging, the harder it became for me to "take that first step" and write this post. You know how it is when you've neglected a friend and the longer you put off calling, the harder it is to do it, out of guilt and shame?  Well, that's kinda how I felt about this. Sounds silly, but it's true.

I've kept up with Lucy at Attic 24, and I'm so envious of her enthusiasm, her zest, her talent, and just the color and cheer she shares almost every single day. I've wondered at times if she's really FOR REAL. Truly, can anyone be that zany and delightful every day and have the energy to get online and share it with the world? If you've been to her blog, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, you need to go on a little adventure to Attic 24. There are times when my world seems dark, dreary, and daunting, and I can take a little journey into Lucy's world and come out on the other side with a smile on my face.

Why did I just tell you all that? Perhaps I just want to confess to all of you that I don't walk on water. I've become a frumpy old hermit, of sorts, and I'm just not happy with myself. I have so many blessings in my life, and sometimes I have trouble keeping those in perspective. In all my fretting and lamenting about blogging, I've come to believe that it's okay not to be perfect, and it's okay to get on here and complain or moan and groan about life if I want to. Rather than keep everything inside, it's okay to share with you when I'm having a grumpy day and when I just don't want to face the world. It's okay to use this space to journal my way through some of the speed bumps I'm facing. I don't have to be chipper and smiley all the time. Right?

So, that's part of the reason I've avoided blogging for over a month. I just haven't felt like it. I didn't want to paint a dismal picture on everyone's Christmas spirit. In years past, I've jumped into the fall and holiday seasons with gusto, having my tree decorated and presents wrapped BEFORE December 1st. For those of you who follow my daughter's blog, you know that this year, I was wrapping presents ON CHRISTMAS! Oh the horror! Poor Hunter was so traumatized due to my severe lack of Christmas jolliness! Turns out, her dad, who fully admits to being Mr. Grinch with a capital "G", stepped right up and helped to make Hunter's Christmas a little brighter. He helped her with the tree, and they actually put lights up on the house. That, my friends, is really something! I love my husband dearly, but Christmas cheer has never been his forte. So, thank you, JC, for bringing a little Santa into Hunter's world.

Okay, so to conclude all this long-windedness, I just want to say Merry Christmas, belatedly, and I hope all of you have the most wonderful new year ever! As we move into 2010, I resolve to get on here and share happy things and not-so-happy things. I resolve to do my best to let you all know just how much I appreciate you sharing little bits of your world with me. I may not have a lot to say, but know that I am here. I will resolve to be a better blogging buddy with my comments and words of encouragement. And, if I miss a day or two of blogging, I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

Hopefully this weekend, I'll be able to get some pictures posted. In all my frumpy-grumpiness, I've still been crocheting like crazy and have some things to show off. Oh, and my sister bought me a sewing machine for Christmas. Remember a few months ago when I was going on and on about wanting a sewing machine, even though I have absolutely no clue how to use one? :)  Well, friends, she took me seriously, and I'm going to learn. Hang on tight, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!