I'VE MISSED YOU!

Well, I pondered . . .
I debated . . .
I deliberated . . .
I fretted . . .
I lost sleep . . .

. . . all over coming back on here and writing this post. Can you imagine how crazy that sounds? I mean, it's just a silly old blog, right?

Not so much. This blog has been very special to me over the last 7-8 months. I have shared parts of my life with you, both by words and by pictures. I have read your blogs and looked at your pictures, and have gotten to know each of you in a very special little way. I truly feel like you are my friends.

Over the past month, I have not contributed to my blog, but I have kept up with you. I followed you through the merriment and pre-Christmas frenzy. I drooled over your yummy holiday treats and enjoyed reading about your family traditions. I read your entries right into the new year, and through my fever and flu-induced fog, I silently wished you all a very happy New Year, even if I didn't have the energy to post it on my blog.

And, all this time, the longer I went without blogging, the harder it became for me to "take that first step" and write this post. You know how it is when you've neglected a friend and the longer you put off calling, the harder it is to do it, out of guilt and shame?  Well, that's kinda how I felt about this. Sounds silly, but it's true.

I've kept up with Lucy at Attic 24, and I'm so envious of her enthusiasm, her zest, her talent, and just the color and cheer she shares almost every single day. I've wondered at times if she's really FOR REAL. Truly, can anyone be that zany and delightful every day and have the energy to get online and share it with the world? If you've been to her blog, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, you need to go on a little adventure to Attic 24. There are times when my world seems dark, dreary, and daunting, and I can take a little journey into Lucy's world and come out on the other side with a smile on my face.

Why did I just tell you all that? Perhaps I just want to confess to all of you that I don't walk on water. I've become a frumpy old hermit, of sorts, and I'm just not happy with myself. I have so many blessings in my life, and sometimes I have trouble keeping those in perspective. In all my fretting and lamenting about blogging, I've come to believe that it's okay not to be perfect, and it's okay to get on here and complain or moan and groan about life if I want to. Rather than keep everything inside, it's okay to share with you when I'm having a grumpy day and when I just don't want to face the world. It's okay to use this space to journal my way through some of the speed bumps I'm facing. I don't have to be chipper and smiley all the time. Right?

So, that's part of the reason I've avoided blogging for over a month. I just haven't felt like it. I didn't want to paint a dismal picture on everyone's Christmas spirit. In years past, I've jumped into the fall and holiday seasons with gusto, having my tree decorated and presents wrapped BEFORE December 1st. For those of you who follow my daughter's blog, you know that this year, I was wrapping presents ON CHRISTMAS! Oh the horror! Poor Hunter was so traumatized due to my severe lack of Christmas jolliness! Turns out, her dad, who fully admits to being Mr. Grinch with a capital "G", stepped right up and helped to make Hunter's Christmas a little brighter. He helped her with the tree, and they actually put lights up on the house. That, my friends, is really something! I love my husband dearly, but Christmas cheer has never been his forte. So, thank you, JC, for bringing a little Santa into Hunter's world.

Okay, so to conclude all this long-windedness, I just want to say Merry Christmas, belatedly, and I hope all of you have the most wonderful new year ever! As we move into 2010, I resolve to get on here and share happy things and not-so-happy things. I resolve to do my best to let you all know just how much I appreciate you sharing little bits of your world with me. I may not have a lot to say, but know that I am here. I will resolve to be a better blogging buddy with my comments and words of encouragement. And, if I miss a day or two of blogging, I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

Hopefully this weekend, I'll be able to get some pictures posted. In all my frumpy-grumpiness, I've still been crocheting like crazy and have some things to show off. Oh, and my sister bought me a sewing machine for Christmas. Remember a few months ago when I was going on and on about wanting a sewing machine, even though I have absolutely no clue how to use one? :)  Well, friends, she took me seriously, and I'm going to learn. Hang on tight, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!