I MISS YOU, MOM

SHIRLEY CREW

BELOVED MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER, DAUGHTER, AND FRIEND

SEPTEMBER 16, 1934 - OCTOBER 8, 1996

Mom behind her desk at work. She hated having her picture taken, but she actually liked this picture and gave it to me as a gift one year.

KERI'S BIRTHDAY AT ESKIMO JOE'S

AUGUST, 1996

This is me on the left, my sister, Tammy, and Mom. It was taken about two weeks before she went into the hospital for the last time.

Okay, before you all get your tissues out, I'll let you know right up front that this is not meant to be a sad and dreary post. I hope I got that nonsense out of my system about three weeks ago, on Mom's birthday. My post today is simply to let everyone know that I miss my Mom terribly, and I want you all to know what a wonderful, loving, generous, funny, and caring person she was.

Mom was born on September 16, 1934, in Healdton, Oklahoma. She was an only child, due to the fact that her parents divorced when she was 5, and my grandmother never remarried. She, instead, devoted the rest of her life to Mom and to my sister and me after our arrival.

Mom was very popular as a teenager and looking back at her highschool yearbooks, it seems she was just about "Miss Everything". She was the band majorette, she was homecoming queen, she sang in the glee club, she presided over the Student Council, and she was voted "Miss Healdton High" her senior year. Due to limited funds, rather than go off to college, Mom attended secretarial school in Oklahoma City. After graduation, she was hired at Pan American Petroleum Company. That is where she met my dad, Ken. In 1952, they were married. Six years later, yours truly was born. (Me!)  In 1964, my sister was born, and our family was complete.

I look back on my childhood, and I could not have asked for anything more wonderful. My sister and I grew up in a warm and loving home, with two of the most incredible parents anyone could ever ask for. One week after my 16th birthday, however, my dad destroyed everything our family had come to enjoy. He left us "to get his life figured out", but we later found out that it was because of another woman . . . one that was about 10 years older than me. They ultimately married, but that didn't last long, and he spent the next 10-15 years, searching. He went from job to job and woman to woman, but I think in reality, no one could compare to my mother, and therefore, he never settled down with anyone again. Today, he is a hermit . . . sad and depressed, lonely and pitiful, who finds really nothing of joy in life except his liquor, cigarettes, and television.

Well, now that I got off the subject . . . . . . back to my mom. What a beautiful person she was. When my dad left, my mother's heart was broken, I think literally. She never got over the loss of her first true love, and years later, it was the failure of her heart that led to her demise.

Mom was not perfect. She had her flaws just like we all do. She would not put down her beloved cigarettes, which she started smoking when she was 16, back when it was okay and cool to do such things. After her heart failure resulted in three-vessel heart bypass surgery, she still continued to smoke those damn things. Her cardiologist finally sat her down and flat out told her, very bluntly, that she was going to die . . . soon . . . if she did not stop smoking.

Alas, she finally stopped. But, it was too late. The cigarettes contributed to her lung problems, which of course, exacerbated her heart disease. Ultimately, the cause of her death was attributed to a collapsed valve, which they said could not be replaced because of the poor condition of her heart and lungs. I mentioned in my post on Mom's birthday (Sept. 16) that I took her to the hospital on September 16, and after three weeks in the ICU, she very quietly passed away on October 8th, 1996.

I don't really know how to explain it, without it sounding cold and callous, but I was somewhat relieved when the nurse told me that Mom was gone. She was dependent on a ventilator, and was being fed through a stomach tube. By the end, I don't think she recognized us, and we were unable to really communicate with her. I know Mom would not have wanted to live like that. So, it was somewhat of a blessing to know that she wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

So, today is not as difficult for me to get through as you might expect. It's always there, in the back of my mind, like a really scary movie or a horrible nightmare, but after all these years, I prefer now to focus on the beautiful person my mother was, and to remember her generosity and her love for my sister and me, her grand-daughter, Ryanne, and all her furry friends.

Thank you for letting me share with you. It's good therapy for me to express my thoughts, and I hope I didn't bore you or depress you too much. I would just like to end by saying that I hope all of you tell your family and friends you love them often, give them hugs whenever you can, and be patient and understanding, even though it's incredibly hard sometimes.

I'VE CREATED A MONSTER!!

Thank you so much to those of you who checked out Hunter's blog and signed on as followers. She is so excited and already so addicted. (Maybe that's not such a good thing, huh?) :)  She mentioned this morning that she loves blogging and "meeting" all her new friends, and it even keeps her off Club Penquin, which is really something.  She has been busy checking all her posts to see if there are new comments, and I think she is writing comments back if she can find who left the comment.

Anyway, I just wanted to say "thanks" for being so friendly and accomodating.

FAVOR

To all my Blog buddies:


My daughter, Hunter, has created her own blog. She got really interested after reading a lot of your blogs and comments to my blog. I mildly encouraged her, just because I thought it would be good practice for her, learning new things about the computer, plus getting some writing experience. (She definitely needs help with her spelling and grammar.) Well, she's got her blog, and she's excited about it, but she's disappointed because she doesn't have any followers except for her teacher and me. Our other family members don't have access to Blogger and are having trouble even leaving her coments.


I'm wondering if any of you would be willing to check out her blog and perhaps sign up as a "follower"? I don't really want her to search out other blogs on the internet, for safety reasons. But, I think I can trust all my crochet buddies. No obligation, and even if you do sign up to follow, there's no obligation to leave comments all the time. I just thought it might encourage her to keep up her online "journal". 


Hunter's blog is called A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE BEAN.  She's pretty much all about PUPPIES right now, but I'm sure she'll move on to other things soon. :)  


Thanks for letting me share!

I SNITCHED AN AWARD

Good morning, All!  I visited Beansiebabbles this morning and snuck this award from her site. Not necessarily because I agree with what it says, but because I thought it would be fun to answer the questions. I, like Beansie, would like to pass this on to anyone who would like to participate. If you read this and would like to "swipe" the award and then answer the following questions, I would love for you to do so. I'd like to see how you answer them.





HERE ARE THE RULES:
1. You can only use one word to answer each of the following questions.
2. Offer this to your fellow bloggers
3. Alert them that you have given them this award.
4. Have fun!!!


Okay, on to the fun part!


1. Where is your cell phone?   unknown
2. Your hair?   messy
3. Your mother?   deceased
4. Your father?   depressed
5. Your favorite foods?   Mexican
6. Your dream last night?  forgot
7. Your favorite drink?  coffee
8. Your dream/goal?   thin
9. What room are you in?   office
10. Your hobby?  crochet
11. Your fear?   mirrors
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years?   alive
13. Where were you last night?   home
14. Something that you aren't?   rich
15. Muffins?   blueberry
16. Wish List Item?   retirement
17. Where did you grow up?   Oklahoma
18. Last thing you did?   breakfast
19. What are you wearing?   robe
20. Your t.v.?   off
21. Your pets?   adorable
22. Friends?   some
23. Your life?   short
24. Your mood?   fair
25. Missing someone?   YES
26. Vehicle?   Escape
27. Something you're not wearing?   make-up
28. Your favorite store?  yarn
29. Your favorite color?   red
30. Last time you laughed?  yesterday
31. Last time you cried?  awhile
32. Best friend?  Michelle
33. One place I go to again and again?  Dreamland
34. One person who emails you regularly?   Michelle
35. Favorite place to eat?   Alfredo's

SORRY I'VE BEEN BLOG-LAGGING

Wow, I created a new term . . . blog-lagging!  LOL  I like it! Anyway, I'm going to try to get on here tomorrow to update my blog and bring everyone up-to-date, but for now, since it's exactly 23 minutes until the OU Sooners - Miami Hurricanes kick-off, I'm going to be brief. Hunter and I and our best friends, Michelle and Kaitlyn, went to see my oldest daughter Ryanne today for some much-needed PUPPY TIME! I had not actually snuggled with them or seen them for a couple of weeks, other than the pictures Ryanne emailed me last week, which were in the previous post. So, I think we took close to 100 pictures today, all very cute, of course. I'm going to pick out a few of my favorites for your viewing pleasure. I know this is a crochet blog, but I just can't help myself. These puppies are just too darn cute to keep them hidden.

HUNTER DOING HER BALANCING ACT!

KAITLYN GETTING LOTS OF PUPPY LOVIN'

PILE OF PUPPIES

RYANNE AND HER FURRY FAMILY

Hope everyone is having a terrific weekend. Be safe, and I'll see ya'll tomorrow.

GO SOONERS!!!!!!!!!!!

LATEST PUPPY PICS!

If you've been following my blog for at least a few weeks, you shared my drama with the great-grandpuppies. We started with 9, but nature unfortunately took its course, and there are now 6. My daughter just sent out an email with some of her new pictures. I just couldn't resist posting them. This is Ryanne and the babies . . . Brutus, Bo, Tigger, Lenny, Kodiak, and Sam (the only female).

WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE?

Wow, yesterday was a very hard day for me. When I get on here to post something, I always do my best to keep things upbeat, even if what I'm talking about is on the dreary side. I just couldn't bring myself to write yesterday. Then, today, I decided it would do me good to share my sadness. I had a boyfriend once who would say, "Just go scratch your tail and get glad!" It used to make me so mad at the time, but now I can see what he was trying to say.

Yesterday, September 16th, would have been my beloved Mother's 75th birthday. Mom left us way too early, at the age of 62, on October 8, 1996. Since her death, her birthday has always been a much harder day for me than the day she died. It was on this date, in 1996, that I took her to the hospital, and she never made it back home. She spent three-weeks in the intensive care unit before finally succumbing to heart and lung failure. So, I guess I always look at this date as being the "beginning of the end".

As in years past, I prepared myself as September 16th approached. I knew it was going to be a difficult day for me, so I did my best to stay immersed in my work. I had even asked my boss to give me extra work, just so I could keep my mind occupied on mundane things, anything besides death. I guess I did okay, considering. I got through the dreary and gray day, shedding my usual tears and allowing myself to be sad. By evening, I felt better and knew that this dreaded day was, once again, almost over.

Then . . . . . . . I watched the 10:00 pm newscast and heard the heart-breaking news that Mary Travers, of Peter, Paul, and Mary fame, had passed away, after her long fight with leukemia. Well, there went my resolve to not shed anymore tears. I loved Mary Travers. I grew up listening to Peter, Paul, and Mary in the 60's and 70's, and I still listen to their music today. I think it was either three or four years ago that I heard they were going to be appearing in Las Vegas. I made flight and hotel arrangements in order to go out to see them. Their concert schedule was unexpectedly cancelled when Mary was diagnosed with leukemia and had to undergo treatment, including a bone marrow transplant. Well, she did well from her treatments, and the group eventually resumed their concerts. Once again, I bought plane tickets and made lodging arrangements, and my husband and I flew out to Las Vegas to see them. It was wonderful, and it brought back so many happy memories from my childhood. I will always cherish that trip.

So, today I am doing better. I appreciate you all giving me this forum to share my grief and sadness. I hate to be a sad-sack, and I promise to be more cheerful and uplifting when I return.

Oh, I also realized last night, in my pitty-pottiness, that I do not even have a picture of my mother on my computer. Of course, I have thousands of photographs, but I've never taken the time to scan anything in. I really need to do that. That will be my next rainy-day project, and I will have some pictures of Mom posted very soon.

Thanks again for listening.

STILL WORKIN' ON THE BLOG

Thanks for all your comments and helpful critiques. I liked the bright colors of the other blog background, but I agree that even with the bold, black font, it was still hard to read. I decided on this one to get me into Autumn. Tina, you'll appreciate that, right???   Anyway, I've got work to do today, so I won't get time to mess with the text colors until later in the weekend. Hope you'll bear with me. :)

Another Organizer Box

Hunter took her organizer box to school to keep her supplies in. Some of the kids asked her if I could make them one. I said I would get some whipped up "as time permitted". Well, I worked on this one over the weekend. I'm not real fond of the camouflage, but due to the fact it's for a little boy, and I didn't think I would find any other use for the camo yarn, this is what I picked. I made 2 "M's". The first one, using my "H" hook and RHSS yarn, was WAY too big. I made a second one, this time using a "G" hook and Peaches and Cream cotton. It was still big, but I squished it to get it all to fit. :) Another thing I did differently on this one was to use plastic canvas on the inside, rather than a discarded tissue box. I thought this might hold out a little longer. It took more time, but I'm much happier with the results.

So, anyway, just wanted to let you know I've been keeping my crochet hook busy. I'm getting ready to get started again on my OU afghan. I've been holding off, waiting for some helpful advice from Carolyn, The Kansas Hooker. Now, I think I'm ready to take off on the graph part of the afghan. I'll keep you posted on progress.


Tomorrow is 09/09/09, my baby girl's birthday. She'll be 27. ARRGGGHHHH!!!  Makes me feel really old!

I STILL LOVE MY SOONERS!

I'm in mourning at the moment, since my Sooners were just defeated by the Brigham Young Cougars. But, life goes on, and I'll have my smile back by tomorrow. I just pray that our quarterback, Sam Bradford, is not seriously injured. He's an unbelievable athlete, and just a great human being. Get better soon, Sam!